Old White Rose
by lunavixen
Summary: When one door closes, another one opens. Some things can change people, especially matters of the heart.     An introspective Jihl-centric fic, AU.


Title: Old White Rose

Rating: T

Pairing: Jihl-centric, with a slight smidge of Jihl x Lightning

Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable, 'kay?

Spoilers: Oh yes, there will be spoilers!

A/N: The character Ken is based on my grandfather and the title is from one of his favourite old white roses "Mother's Love". Set post Palamecia, AU but follows canon.

This story has been written and released for my grandfather, who passed away 10 years ago today (29th December 2001). I love you with all of my heart Pop and I miss you.

It hurt so much. The white flash from his attack caused pain on a phenomenal scale. Falling to the ground, her weapon clattered clattered to the floor at the same time as her body. Red and then black ringed her vision as her eyes slid shut, the last thing she saw was the L'Cie as they advanced on the Prim- no, not the Primarch... he can't be. He's not normal, and the magic was too powerful for a Manadrive. Her body relaxed, the cold settling in her skin, along with an unidentifiable buzzing filled her ears, she tried to lift her arms, but they may as well have been made of lead for the good it did.

A heavy jolting knocked Jihl to her senses, though not fast enough and she smashed face-first into a console, its operator dead. Blinking the blood from her eyes, Jihl tried to ignore both the pain in her head, along with her shaking limbs as she got to her knees. Several screaming alarms issued from navigation caught her attention, though Jihl could not see to them because of the fires that spread from the secondary consoles arcing onto the uniforms of the dead officers. As the density of the smoke increased, Jihl got dizzy before blacking out, unaware of the soldiers on the lower decks fighting their way up to the bridge, to find out just what the hell was going on.

Jihl could hear voices, but the fogginess stopped her from properly waking up, slightly frowning, she still could not lift raise her arms. Giving up for now, Jihl faded back into sleep.

_Ow... Stop it!_

The light flicked in and out of her eye, the lids pulled apart by warm hands. Scrunching her eye shut, the fogginess in her head began to disperse and Jihl slowly began to open her eye, a nurse in blue scrubs gradually came into focus, once Jihl felt coherent enough, she asked the one question that lingered in her mind.

"Where am I?"

The nurse looked a little sad for a second, but replied in a steady voice

"New Bodhum...-"

"New Bodhum! What happened to the old one? And why can't I see out of my left eye?" said Jihl with rising panic.

"Please calm down Miss Nabaat and I'll explain."

Jihl flopped down on her pillows with an audible 'flump' and gestured for the nurse to continue.

"The L'Cie managed to destroy Orphan and expose Galenth Dysley as a Fal'Cie, he had set up Cid Raines as the new Primarch to try and regain control after the crash of the Palamecia. You and 53 other crew members were the only ones out of the 500 strong crew to survive, you were the only one found alive on the bridge, we were afraid you weren't going to make it for quite a while, to tell you the truth... New Bodhum is not on Cocoon, it's on Gran Pulse."

At this Jihl tried to sit up but laid back down at the pain in her side, muttering under her breath, inaudible to the nurse. The nurse gently placed a hand on Jihls arm and stated that she'd explain the rest a little later as Jihl needed rest, before she left the room.

The information the nurse had dumped on Jihl replayed over and over as she lay, staring but unseeing at the stark white roof. The thoughts began to wane as she closed her eyes to rest.

When Jihl woke up, the sun was beginning to set, casting a brilliant pink and orange glow across her hospital room, a male nurse came in bearing her meal, which smelled surprisingly nice. '_I just hope it's not fish'._ The male nurse flashed a very wide smile at Jihl and asked how she was feeling. Merely raising an eyebrow, somehow managing to bite down on the sarcasm sneaking into her voice.

"As good as can be expected."

After setting the tray down, the nurse stood over her bed;

"You don't know what's happened, do you?"

"...Not everything... Like what happened to both Cocoon and me for that matter, I only have vague details."

The nurses' eyebrows threatened to disappear into his hairline at her statement.

"Well, where do you want me to start? I can't tell you it all tonight, but after dinner I can try to explain some-"

"Oi! Mike! Quit chatting up the lady and come help, she's not going anywhere!" another nurse called form the hallway.

"Yeah, yeah... I'm coming." Turning back to Jihl, "Well, 'till later then, enjoy" he said as he slid the bed trolley across Jihl before leaving. Watching the nurse leave, Jihl uncovered her plate, pot roast and veggies, including celery, and god did Jihl hate celery! No matter how you prepare it or try to hide it, it doesn't go away! Grumbling, Jihl picked up her utensils and ate... everything but the celery, bleugh!

The sunset light bled away into the inky darkness of the night, though the moonlight was overridden by the artificial lighting of the hospital, Jihls reverie was broken by the return of the male nurse from earlier.

"Evening."

Jihl merely nodded in the nurses direction, not completely attentive towards him.

"Miss Nabaat?"

"Hmmm?"

"I came back to fill you in on some of those missing details, Doctor Myhill has allowed me to tell you about your injuries before she comes in tomorrow."

Jihl finally fixed her attention upon the young nurse so he could explain.

"Start with the injuries and the Palamecia, it's the last thing I remember. The previous nurse mentioned something about the L'Cie but didn't go into detail." Jihl said in a flat voice.

The nurse gave a sad smile at both Jihls tone and passive expression.

"Most of the incident on the Palamecia is still unknown but the PSICOM specialists are still reconstructing footage, going backwards from after the crash to about 8 hours. The Palamecia wasn't recovered for about 6 hours after it crashed because of where it crashed, on the far side of Eden, near Lake Bresha. The 54 surviving crew, including you, had been pulled out, you weren't breathing and were bleeding heavily, after being revived and stabilised you were airlifted to the Palumpolum Military Medical Centre. You were in surgery for a little over 20 hours to fix your internal injuries, punctured lung and shattered leg, they couldn't save your left eye or arm, they were too badly damaged."

"I remember smashing headfirst into a console, but nothing else."

"That impact is what damaged your eye, you can't remember because you got a concussion and cracked skull. Your arm was probably damaged in the crash, but you can still have a prosthetic fitted later.

The L'Cie? Well they are a different kettle of fish altogether. They revealed that the former Primarch, Galenth Dysley was actually a Fal'Cie by the name of Barthandelus and that Orphan and the Fal'Cie were going to sacrifice everyone on Cocoon to recreate something called the 'Maker'. Two of the L'Cie, both originally from Pulse, a Fang and Vanille stopped Cocoon from falling after Orphans defeat."

During the explanation, Jihls face had changed from neutral to incredulous, and she'd had to bite her tongue to avoid interrupting the nurse. A single though formed her next and last questions for the night.

"So they're alive? How do we know about, Orphan... and all the rest of it?"

"The L'Cie; Hope, Snow, Sazh, Dajh and Serah are all confirmed as alive, though Fang, Vanille and Lightning Farron are missing."

_Claire! No! But why?_ Panic filled Jihls thoughts along with an indistinct pain in her chest. No, her heart. The pain of losing her Claire. The sadness in her heart must have crept into her expression because the nurse placed his hand on her shoulder, said goodnight and left, dimming the lights as he did.

The days in the hospital passed, exams, medicine and a back story that was gradually filled in by visiting military personnel and doctors. Cocoon had been rendered largely uninhabitable by the Ragnarok incident, and PSICOM had become the new protection agency for the citizens in the new towns on Pulse. With so many used to having everything provided for them, life was tough at first, but all things become easier with time, and gradually farms and trade was re-established. PSICOM worked to reconnect families separated by the early Purges or by the evacuation of Cocoon. Jihl knew that one of those purple manilla files would eventually make its way to her.

Sure enough, after nearly a month in the hospital, a fresh faced private with sandy blonde hair, fashioned in a shoulder length ponytail and floppy fringe. Standing in his crisp uniform, the soldier saluted smartly, handed Jihl the file and left with a professional 'Get well soon Colonel'. Sitting down on her bed with a heavy sigh, the folder clutched in her right hand, Jihl hesitated to open it, not sure about the answers within.

The purple file sat unopened beside Jihls bed until the night before her release. Her last rehabilitation session over, Jihl could now walk freely again without the need for aid, the only external evidence of her leg injury was the extensive scarring criss-crossing her fair skin, shin, knee and calf. Jihls resolve to open the file wavered as she rested it on her lap, gathering her strength, she opened the file and read.

_FILE: 0551398JN_

_NAME: Jihl Nabaat_

_OCCUPATION: PSICOM PERSONNEL – Rank - COLONEL_

_PURPOSE: LOCATE FAMILY PURGE/RELOCATION._

_FILE SUMMARY_

_KNOWN FAMILY MEMBERS:_

_MOTHER (AGE 51): __**LOCATED**_

_FATHER (AGE 60): __DECEASED_

_SIBLINGS: SISTER (AGE 33): __**LOCATED**_

_SISTER (AGE 35): __DECEASED_

_P. GRANDFATHER (AGE 87): __**LOCATED**_

BIOGRAPHIES OF FAMILY INCLUDED OF SEPARATE PAGES

_ADDITIONAL NOTES: _

Family has been relocated to the south side of the village of New Bodhum, Mother has taken job as chef, Grandfather is retired horticulturalist, tends large garden, with variety of exotic and native plants, sister assists family with their duties, sister has experience in primary teaching.

_END OF FILE SUMMARY_

Jihl released a breath she didn't know she'd been holding, _her family was alive! _ Her mother, sister and grandfather had been put on one of the first purges, before Jihl had been put in charge of it, she'd been in the Academy at the time her family was purged, she was aware of the death of her father and sister, her father died of a heart attack and her sister was killed in a vehicular accident 2 years ago.

After being released from the hospital Jihl consulted the file, now well worn from being read multiple times, the address firmly in her head, Jihl walked with a steady pace, after all, she still had quite a way to go. Passing many homes and people showing happiness and steadfast determination at their situations, it astounded Jihl at how well the people have adapted, and it came to her that there was no reason for the Purges, without the L'Cie, they all would be dead.

Her thoughts kept her company until she reached a sudden plumage of colour to rival the fireworks shows of Nautilus, but when she looked closer, it was actually that much more beautiful, roses of every colour, white being predominant, and orchids of so many colours, from the deepest purple to the snowiest of white. Slowly walking to the fence gate, Jihls senses were assaulted by the sights and smells in front of her, her attention was caught by two particular flowers, both roses. One was a brilliant shade of blue, like the sea on a clear day, the other, a green gold, almost matching Jihls eyes.

A wizened elderly man stood tall, his kind face and bronzed skin stood apart from anything else, he turned his head towards Jihl, and she saw that his eyes were identically coloured to hers, it was him! Her grandfather Kenneth, it had been a long time since she'd seen him last, he looked older but otherwise nothing had changed. Jihl pinched herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming, cautiously, she stepped forward...

"...Excuse me?"

The elderly man stood up and faced his guest, there was a pregnant pause as he regarded the young woman in front of him, his eyes drifted to her left arm and eyepatch, before stopping on her other eye, a shade of green to match his own.

"Jihl...?"

"Yes... Are you Kenneth Nabaat?"

"Oh Jihl, don't tell me you've forgotten"

"It's been so long..."

"Seven years now, you've grown up so much, come inside, your mother will be truly excited to see you."

As Jihl approached, Ken swept her into a hug and didn't let go for several seconds, and Jihl felt a vague dampness against her shoulder... _Was he, crying?_

Ken released her and took her hand to lead her inside. Jihl was led into a modest home furnished in wooden tones and she could smell the sweetness of fresh sugar cookies, Ken ushered her into a seat and bustled off with a promise to return soon.

Hurried footsteps slightly muffled on the carpet came towards Jihl, a slight feeling of unease crept up on her as three people came into view, her mother, sister and grandfather Ken. The ticking of a clock in the hall was all that could be heard as the people in the room took each other in, mother, sister, daughter and granddaughter. Jihls mother was the first to step forward to sweep her daughter into a hug, followed by her sister, golden eyes glistened with tears as Jihls sister voiced the question on all of their minds.

"What happened to you?"

"It's a long story"

"We have time, now that we're all together again..."

Stories don't end, even after death, they live on in the hearts and minds of others, much like the people of those stories, and later in life those stories are passed on down through children and friends, and it keeps them alive in some form or another.


End file.
